


On Maybes (the storm before the calm)

by hurricaneharmony



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-10
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-24 22:01:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2598002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hurricaneharmony/pseuds/hurricaneharmony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's dangerous. There's nothing stopping her magic from lashing out at him, she has <i>no control over herself</i>, and he refuses to go.</p><p>
Doesn't he know, this was never about walls or scars or protecting herself. It's about protecting <i>him.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	On Maybes (the storm before the calm)

**Author's Note:**

> A 4x08 speculation because I am weak.
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are so so appreciated! Or talk to me on tumblr at colourfulmoniker-hook. I'd so love to hear from you!
> 
> Thank you always for reading!

He finds her in the woods. When he tries to take her hands, she’s angry and flinching away, backing away with her palms out in warning and his in surrender before she changes her mind and clutches her hands to her chest where they can’t hurt anybody. And when she turns her back on him, she’s crying because _she never asked for this_ , never wanted this _gift_ or this _power_ or to have to make this choice- to give up everything she is, everything that makes her _special_ so that she can be accepted by the people who are supposed to love her no matter what. 

She asks him to leave again between clenched teeth and a tight throat, and hears his footsteps in the leaves in response. She lets out a shuddering breath- of relief, of disappointment-, lets the choked sound escape her chest, when suddenly she feels arms lock around her waist. 

"No! _Let go of me!”_ She hisses. “I told you to _leave_ , don’t _touch_ me!” She’s writhing in his grasp, slams her elbow into his chest and feels his hold give a little as he grunts in pain, but he doesn’t let go. 

"I’m not going anywhere, Swan. You’re _not_ going to hurt me.” His voice is right above her ear, and he nuzzles his chin into her hair at the last few words before she snaps her head away. 

"You don’t know that." Her shout cracks into a _pathetic_ croak that she’d be ashamed of if she wasn’t so afraid, “You don’t know what I’m capable of. _I_ don’t know.” 

He turns her in his arms, slides his hands down her arms in a quick maneuver so he’s gripping her hand and catching his hook around the other arm before she can wrench them away. 

"Perhaps not," he says, "but I know _exactly_ who you are.” 

Pressed against him like this, she has nowhere to hide her crying eyes and bleeding lip. Nowhere to run. 

She hurt _Henry_ today. There’s nothing stopping her from accidentally sending Killian flying into a tree or through the window of her car. The magic is still pulsing in her veins, sparking at her fingertips, and she’s sure he can feel it buzzing against his palm, burning into his skin. She tries to twist away again, but his grip is iron, and his eyes aren’t leaving hers. 

"You _have_ to let me go.” She croaks. “I don’t want- I _can’t_ hurt you. I can’t _lo-_ ” 

"You won’t." 

"I might." 

"You _won’t.”_

_"Killian-"_

"Emma, _sweetheart.”_

_That_ 's enough to shut her up, if only for a second, and he's a watercolour painting through the haze of her clouded eyes. 

"Emma, do you trust me?" 

She bristles. 

"Now is not the time, and you are not the problem. The problem is _me,_ and I-“ 

_"Emma."_

"You know I do." She whispers, an angry, muttering sigh. 

He turns her hand in his so his fingers curl around hers, his thumb brushing the back of her hand. She could _ruin_ him right now. If he said the wrong thing and something sparked in her blood, she could burn a hole through his hand or accidentally open the ground to swallow him whole, or have him just _fall_ lifelessly into her arms with no way to save him, screaming his name, shaking his shoulders, holding his head to her heart, _again, again, again._

"I trust you, Emma." He whispers. "I believe in you." He lifts one of her hands and presses it to his chest. ”With all my heart.” 

Her magic could choose this moment to shatter his heart like the wall of the sheriff’s station. She could lose him now at her own hands, in her own arms, at her own doing. She can’t handle looking him in the eyes right now- they’re too blue, too wide, screaming of oceans he gave up for her and how he would do the same with his life- so slowly, she dips her head down to rest her forehead on his shoulder. Her hand is still on his heart, pressed there under his palm, and his other arm slides around her waist again. She lets out a long, shaky breath into his shirt as his head tilts to lay his cheek against her hair. She can feel his heart beating, strong and stubborn under her hand, and she feels the humming in her ears dim, the tingling leaving her fingertips. 

She can hear his heartbeat and the leaves rustling under their boots as he sways them slightly. And she feels his lips twitch up in a smile, anticipating some _stupid_ comment before he says it- 

"Quiet moment." 

Her laugh starts as almost a sob, then a snort, as she burrows further into the crook of his neck, shaking her head. 

"You’re such an _idiot.”_

"Ah, but I know you, Swan. You love it." 

She smiles tiredly against his skin. 

"Maybe." 


End file.
